Burned Out: Grieving the Future We Thought We Had
The term burnout has become widely used over the past five years. It’s now even recognized as an official medical diagnosis—for those who are physically exhausted from work. And while it’s a step in the right direction that physical burnout is finally being taken seriously, that’s not the kind of burnout I most often witness in my clients—or in myself.
What I see, over and over, is emotional burnout.
What Is Emotional Burnout?
Emotional burnout doesn’t always come with a packed calendar or a long to-do list. Instead, it shows up as a deep, unshakable fatigue. It looks like numbness, decision fatigue, caregiving exhaustion, or even a persistent low mood that starts to resemble grief. It’s especially common among my clients who struggle with people-pleasing and perfectionism—those who push themselves to meet impossible standards and feel like failures when they can’t.
But lately, it’s been more intense. More widespread. More personal.
When Burnout Hits Close to Home
Recently, I had to take an unexpected week off from work due to emotional burnout—something I hadn't done this early in the year before. In the past, I pushed through until summer. So I asked myself: What’s different this time?
The answer was obvious.
The current political climate in the U.S. is devastating. It’s chaotic. And it’s taking a profound emotional toll on many of us. Simply put, we’re all grieving—and grief is exhausting. That exhaustion is fast-tracking emotional burnout in ways I haven’t seen before.
What Are We Grieving?
We’re grieving the future we thought we’d have.
No, maybe we didn’t have it mapped out perfectly. But many of us held a quiet, privileged belief in a certain kind of safety: that we could plan ahead, prepare for what’s to come, and build a life with some sense of stability. That belief—whether based in reality or not—is now gone.
Instead, we’re left with uncertainty. We don’t know what next month will bring, let alone the next four years.
The Waves of Grief
Like any grief, this collective emotional weight comes in waves. One week, we’re angry—at injustice, at systems, at the feeling of helplessness. The next week, we’re overwhelmed by sadness and confusion. Then, absurdly, we find ourselves laughing at how surreal it all feels.
And the week after that? We shut down.
That shutdown is a sign: emotional burnout has arrived.
So What Can We Do?
Here’s what I recommend—both to my clients and myself—when grief starts tipping into burnout:
1. Ride the Emotional Waves
Let your emotions come. Don’t suppress them. Don’t tell yourself to “move on.” Emotions have their own rhythm. Allow them space.
2. Prevent Burnout Before It Deepens
Burnout prevention is not passive. You must actively engage with life in a way that restores you. That might mean:
Engaging in community and skill-building activities that remind you you’re making a difference.
Taking breaks when you need them.
Creating routines that disconnect you from digital overwhelm and reconnect you with real, tangible moments.
3. Find Joy in the Small Things
Be present. Delight in what’s right in front of you. Garden. Paint. Cook. Walk barefoot in the grass. Spend a day outside.
Joy, in this time, is not frivolous—it’s an act of rebellion.
4. Choose Yourself
If I could write every one of my clients a prescription for three months on a beach or in the mountains, I would. But for most of us, that’s not an option.
So instead, choose to prioritize yourself in smaller ways. Maybe it starts with therapy—one hour a week that’s just for you. That’s a perfect place to begin. I can help teach you how to do any of the above. None of the information is new on how to prevent burn out, but many of us don’t know how to actively do it and make ourselves a priority. Therapy can teach you how to ride the waves of emotions, be present, and prioritize yourself.
We Start Where We Are
Burnout and grief are heavy, but they don’t have to break us. If all you can do is take that one first step toward caring for yourself—do that. We’ll build from there.
