The Expectation Trap

image for blog entry

The Trap

We have all been there. 

We set up these expectations, the person or situation doesn't meet them, and then we end up feeling frustrated, angry, and upset. We are disappointed with the person who failed us and then mad at ourselves for expecting so much to begin with.

A friend of mine was experiencing some of these emotions when she asked me what she should be expecting from her therapist. A rule of life I keep in my back pocket is that if you have low expectations then you are rarely disappointed. That kind of mentality works for seeing a new movie or trying a new restaurant, but it becomes sticky when it begins to involve other people. You have a right as a human being to have expectations on others, especially if they are active in your life. However, it is important to make sure these expectations are realistic otherwise you're in for a lot of disappointment. < ...

Read more

Tags:

  • EmotionalFitnessVCS
  • Therapy
  • VCS Blog

The Benefits of Self Compassion

image for blog entry

What is it?

Like Mindfulness, Self Compassion is a term you probably have heard of either in therapy, at a bookstore, or any self-help podcast, but you aren't 100% sure what it means. I'm not exaggerating when I tell clients and friends that learning and practicing Self Compassion changed my life. In fact, I remember when it happened during my 2nd year in graduate school when a student was doing a PowerPoint presentation on the subject. I'm not sure if it was the way the student described it or if her PowerPoint was really just that good, but I remember walking out of the classroom knowing I have been mistreating myself my entire life. 

The simplest way to describe Self Compassion is to be your own best friend. It sounds simple, but I'm sure as many of you know it is much easier said than done because we are trained to think the worst of ourselves. Why do we do t ...

Read more

Minfulness for the Busy and Frantic

image for blog entry

If you have wandered into any self improvement section of a bookstore in the past year, you probably saw about 30 books that have "Mindfulness" in the title. The new craze of mindfulness looks like it is here to stay, at least for awhile, and it should! 

Mindfulness in it's simplest terms a way to learn to live in the present which studies have shown to be a key characteristic of happiness. There are a lot of planners and procrastinators out there (including myself) which we know from personal experience can lead to getting caught up in the day to day busy and frantic life and forgetting to live

But let's be honest, some of us don't have an hour or more a day to meditate. Not all of us have the luxury to belong to a yoga studio. Many of us are too busy these days trying to figure out how to pay rent to be able to have the privilege of focusing on the here and now. Whether it is kids, ...

Read more

Tags:

  • EmotionalFitnessVCS
  • Therapy
  • VCS Blog

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...